Problem Page.

Dear Dave,

Hi, I’m 17 and I have never been kissed or had a boyfriend. I really want one! I’ve got a lot of lad mates but I don't fancy any of them. No-one seems to fancy me. One of my friends has, you know, done a lot with their boyfriend and I have never even been kissed on the cheek! What should I do? Please write back.

Gail

Dear Gail,

Love, I am so worried about you.

You hang around with a bunch of lads that you don't fancy and that don't fancy you and you haven't even had a kiss on the cheek! I think you need to take a look at yourself and your lifestyle babe! Maybe you need to get some girlie girlfriends to go out on the pull with. Also get some magazines to check out the latest fashions, hair makeup etc.

Maybe you don't give out the right vibes, but you don't have to be slutty just a young vibrant teen on the verge of womanhood. Just because you're friend has had a lot of experience with guys doesn't mean she is a good example!

If you do meet someone start slow have a bit of romance-foreplay and a loving kiss and cuddle can be a lot nicer than a quick shag that doesn't mean anything.
Or are you a lesbian? Do you like comfortable shoes? There's nothing wrong with that but it might answer some of your questions.

Good luck Gail let me know how you get on

Love Dave x

Dear Dave,

I am a student in my first year, and this is the first time I have had to survive on a budget. My parents have refused to bail me out and say I have to make my own way in life. I have a badly paid job in a local supermarket, but it does not satisfy my lust of spending money!!. I LOVE to shop, spending money wildly and freely on clothes, make-up and CDs. I am as never as happy as when I am strolling through the local shopping centre, cash in had. I am afraid I  am going to spiral into further debt. Help!!

Peter

Hi Peter,

Or should I say spoilt brat!
Firstly lucky you for having such generous but strong parents although I think you have been spoilt and have probably taken advantage of your parents in the past which is why they are probably teaching you to grow up and not rely on them as much now.
Also you need to channel your lust for shopping into something else- maybe on studying so that when you have finished college you can get into a job with a salary that will enable you to afford to buy the things you want. If you work hard and save you will feel great, there is nothing better than the feeling of earning your own money!
I personally would cut down on buying makeup (men wearing makeup whatever next-sequin dresses!)
Maybe get a hobby that doesn't involve spending money- what about masturbation? The results are more satisfying.
You could also look for a better paid part-time job- possibly in a music shop for example where you will get discount on the cd's that you want.
Do you have friends to hang out with? Or have they got fed up with following you round the shops whinging that you can't afford certain things!
When you have saved up a bit of money, what about treating your parents it will show that you appreciate what they have done for you in the past and that you don't want to take advantage of them anymore and that you can stand on your own two feet. Although I don't think it is a good idea to wear your makeup when you go and see them!!!

Work hard and enjoy
Love Dave x

Dear Dave,

I am a 2nd year student and I am really in love with my English lecturer. He is so worldy, witty and wise. This is not a crush, I just can’t stop thinking about him. My friends say it is an obsession, but I really think that we could have a great future together. He doesn’t know anything about this yet – and I recently found out he is married – but  I think that we would really have a great future together. Should I declare my love?

Yours Neil

Oh Neil, Neil, Neil wake up and smell the coffee!

I think your friends are right; this is an obsession and a selfish one at that. You obviously couldn't give a toss about your teachers' feelings. How could you? You found out he is married and still think this worldly wise man would be better off with you- why?  Get over yourself.
For your own sake do not declare your love to him, because, by the sounds of things you will just be patted on the head and sent on your way. You could do so much damage from this crush just because you think you are a gift sent from heaven. This man is a highly respected married man so on top of all of the other reasons he must be straight. Also are you ready to be a stepfather to his children, cook him his dinner and be ready with his pipe and slippers at the end of the day-I think not
 So my little pouffy mate move on, there is someone out there waiting for you to love them and wanting to love you back

Thanks for your letter

Love Dave x

Dear Dave,

I've been seeing my boyfriend for 18 months now. I'm a student and live 50 miles away from him. He works full time but comes up to see me often. Recently my house mates found a cheap holiday deal for this December and I instantly decided it'd do me good to go, since I never really go on holiday much anyway. But my boyfriend has kicked off because we had tickets for a concert in that week. I apologised for missing it and promised to take him to another one but he's still giving me an ultimatum - him or the holiday. I really want to go away it'll mean a lot to me. Also he's going away in January with his mates!!! I really love him but am very confused about the whole situation, please help me. He's 25 and I'm 19.

Darling Candice,

You sound like a decent girl to me and I quite like the sound of your relationship, even though he lives 50 miles away and is slightly older. It's nice that your boyfriend works full-time and comes to see you as often as he can .BUT, if you don't mind me being blunt (well you can't really stop me can you) I think he is being an arsehole about this situation.
As far as I am concerned ultimatums are taboo in my book especially if you are supposed to be in love with each other.
He is telling you not to go on your much needed holiday because you will miss a concert surely he can find someone else to go with. He then is intending to go on holiday with his mates but that is ok?!
I think this relationship is doomed and he is a selfish twat.
If you really want to carry on with this relationship try to come to some mutual agreement where you can both go on your holidays with your mates and arrange to see another concert together at a better time.
 It should not be the end of the world or your relationship, if on the other hand he sticks to his guns and you give up your holiday I feel it would play on your mind- which then could end up ruining your relationship anyway.
I hope you manage to sort things out love, or meet someone who lives nearer

All the best

Love Dave x

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